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Life Skills

How to control your feelings

By May 2, 2012March 24th, 2021One Comment

Is it possible to control our feelings and mood, or do they control us? The answer is we can control our feelings, and here is how.To explain how to keep your feelings, emotions and mood under control I must go a little deeper, but not too deep.

I’ll use a car as an example. A car has four wheels and an engine. The front two wheels are powered by the engine to pull the car in the direction you want to go. The front two wheels represent your thinking and your actions. The back two wheels represent your emotions (ie feelings, mood) and physiology (ie physical function and appearance). This is a clear way to understand how we are as human beings. Our thinking and doing takes us to where we want to go and our emotions and physiology follow.

Then there is our engine. This represents our core beliefs and is the heart of who we are. This will be the power to drive us forward. If we have low self esteem and we come to a hill (ie problem in life) we may start to roll backwards, or in other words our feelings and emotions may pull us backwards when under pressure. If fear gets a grip on us we may start to pull in both directions, but eventually one will win out. This is why having the right beliefs and values instilled in us is so important. Having a support system from the right relative, friend, or coach is so so important. A problem shared is a problem halved.

When our feelings/emotions, or mood is low, it can be because of a few different reasons. Here are a few causes:

  • tiredness
  • bad diet
  • stress
  • fear
  • anxiety
  • grief
  • low self esteem
  • bad news
  • depression

there are lots of things that can alter our emotions negatively. This can also make us physically feel differently. We may lose our appetite, want to sleep more, feel lazy, cry, get tension in our back and chest, etc. So as you can see even the wrong diet can effect our feelings. When you go through something stressful it can take your body a couple of days to recover from the effects of adrenaline and tension.This is because when we go through a bad situation chemicals like adrenaline are released into the blood and it can take awhile to normalise. My point is, feelings and physiology are a bit temperamental at the best of times and we can’t always explain why we feel the way we do. BUT we can get things under control a lot quicker if we get disciplined in our thinking and don’t act on negative thoughts.

Focus your mind on things that distract from the initial issue. Then focus on things that have a positive association with you. Focus your energy/action on good things that you enjoy, even if you aren’t in the mood to go for a walk, just do it anyway. Its hard to be upset when you are smiling! Your concern are the front two wheels. View life as an adventure, not a tribulation.

As a man thinks, that is how he will be.

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