Loneliness and how to beat it
Loneliness, and feeling lonely is a sad place to find ourselves and I think at some point in our lives we have all felt like this. In this article and also podcast we take a look at the challenges of loneliness. More importantly though we take a look at the solutions to beating loneliness and feeling happier again.
Also read below… 10 Tips to Beating Loneliness
This Adult Life Podcast with myself and Fiona in todays episode called Loneliness and How To Beat It. Either read on or listen.
How do I know if I am lonely?
Loneliness is a state of sadness we find ourselves in because our perception of ourselves is that we feel we have nobody whom we connect with. Even in a crowd a person can feel lonely and isolated from others. When we feel loneliness in this way it is a sign we are unhappy and need connection. We may have been hurt in the past so we find it hard to trust, or we work and live in an isolated way. Loneliness can effect you for many reasons but it is fixable.
What are the main causes of loneliness?
The causes of loneliness can be a mix of factors, but regardless of why we are lonely, we don’t have to stay there. We all have the power to change this. Here are a few main causes of loneliness.
- Lack of friends
- Insecurities
- Relationship failure
- Poor social skills
- Isolated place of living or work
- Trust issues
- Hurt
- Introverted personality
- Outlook in life
What can loneliness do to a person?
It can effect your outlook in life, confidence, and ultimately cause you to feel sad about your situation. Studies show loneliness can cause you to feel depressed, an increased risk of dementia, and even cause you to die younger.
What is the loneliest age group?
A survey concluded 26 to 40 year olds are statistically the loneliest age group. Also another leading study on loneliness in America asked the question “do you feel like you are no longer close to anyone?” 39% of of people said they did not feel close to anyone anymore.
Who are the least loneliest people in the world?
There are areas in the world called “Blue Zones” and these are the places in the world where people live the longest. Studies were conducted of how they live, how they work, what they eat, and their general day to day lives. Even though these areas are dotted around the globe, one thing they all have in common is they prioritise “Connection”. They make a point to connect with those they value and love on a regular basis.
For example some will have a 3 hour dinner every night, which comprises of preparing the food together, eating together, all followed by conversations around the table.
Social media and loneliness.
The sad truth for many of us today is we are all connected on social media but are we really connected to people? We comment and like on posts but are we really feeling connected and a part of other peoples lives. The study above of 39% of people feeling lonely is a sad sign of how things are, despite the online social networks present today more than ever. Does social media help connection? The answer is two fold, yes it helps, but it is a small piece of the pie and should never be relied on. It is nice to have but we still have to put ourselves out there and physically be around people.
You might also like to hear our podcast on Relationships & First Dates
How to beat loneliness 10 tips:
1: Change your mindset
Realise that no matter what has caused you to feel lonely it is fixable. Even if you are lonely due to loss, or a relationship break up, or just introverted in nature. Change your outlook and look forward in a hopeful attitude.
2: Choose to talk
Make a conscious decision each day to talk to as many people as you can. This one trick is so good at helping your loneliness. This will help you to start bridging the gap between lonely and social. It may seem simple, but the mindset change that happens when you start to look for conversations is so encouraging.
3: It is not your fault
Many people whom are lonely tend to get even more lonely as they start to think it is them that is the fault. No matter how you got to this lonely place, always know that it starts to change when you decide to change. Its not your fault, but you do have the power to change it.
4: Share about you more
Start to share about yourself more. This will break the cycle of you keeping to yourself over time. But more importantly it makes you more approachable. When we start to share about ourselves with people it shows them we are open and friendly. This helps to build trust so its a major role in people liking you.
5: It’s not me its you
Some people just wont be friendly back. Don’t feel discouraged when a person is still cold. There are cold unfriendly people in the world as we all know and there is nothing we can do, except to be polite and move on.
6: Search for a tribe for you
Search out a local group, charity, gym, church, sports group that would appeal to you. Finding a group of people that share a common interest is a great way to meet new people.
7: When it comes to finding a partner
You just never know when that spark might strike, but one thing I learned is it usually happens when you least expect it. Choosing to chat with people as mentioned in tip No.2 will cause you to make friends and you just never know. Maybe they are the perfect match, or their friend is the perfect match. The point is, choosing to chat is a major part of finding someone.
8: Quality over quantity
Always remind yourself its not about having a huge volume of friends, but you are far better off having quality friends.
9: Have an Ice breaker
A simple yet great tip, is to have an ice breaker. Beyond the weather and “how are you” questions, have something to chat about in advance. When going to an event, party, or simply canteen. Have an ice breaker, maybe something like a film you saw, a sports game you watched, a news report, a book, etc. These are great ways to get a conversation started and bring about a laugh or establish something in common.
10: What to wear
Be your best self. Its not about trying to look like someone, instead its about looking your best but without putting pressure on yourself. So what is the most important thing to wear when trying to beat loneliness?
Your biggest asset you wear is your smile. A smile can make you appear friendly and non threatening and this is so important when starting a conversation. Also looking well is a part of it too. But a smile makes you look friendly and also makes you feel better internally.
I hope this article and podcast help and do share it online. Connect with me on social media too at these links HERE
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