Many girls ask questions like “Why does he get so annoyed at little things?” “Why are all men so unromantic?” Why does he overreact easily?”. Is there an answer I hear you say. Well maybe there is something girls don’t understand about us men.I can’t speak for all men but I do know that the way a guy feels loved is completely different to how a girl feels loved. Its not all about sex for us men. For a girl to feel loved its a case of them having somebody whom they can talk to, somebody who understands their pain and goes through it with them. Its intimacy, affection, romance, security, protection, and lots lots more.
However for a guy it may be some of the above but there is one thing that can make or break a relationship if left neglected.
Jack & Jill
Would you mind if I tell you a story of a couple. I’ll call them Jack & Jill. Here they where in a loving relationship. Sometimes however Jack would fail to put out the bins, or not cut the grass, and so an argument would occur. Neither of them considered themselves to be perfect but Jack did forget to do certain tasks from time to time. This made life a little difficult for Jill who was looking after the kids. She would yell how useless he was in front of the kids, and this left Jack feeling pretty worthless. Animosity began to grow between the couple and when friends where around Jill would often be heard saying how “useless” he was. She would say it in a joking manner, but this bothered Jack, and when he would say it to Jill she told him she was only joking. This didn’t ease the sting for Jack still felt humiliated. Now to some people this may seem trivial. The fact was this was driving a wedge between the couple. She would say things like “why don’t I call Mick from down the road, he is great with DIY?” Jill felt justified to call Jack out on the jobs he conveniently forgot to do. But this constant condescending was making Jack feel worthless. They eventually needed help as the communication and intimacy wained.
So what did Jill do wrong? Was she wrong in pulling him up on jobs he didn’t do?
Jack eventually began to hang out down the pub and anywhere he could to avoid going home. When asked what was wrong, Jack couldn’t even verbalize why he was so angry at his wife. The answer was simple though. From experience there is one thing men require in order for a relationship to work. That one thing is “respect”.
A man receives love by the respect he is shown. There are other important factors of course, but respect is of the utmost importance. Giving out about him to friends is very disrespectful to a man and he won’t like it. Telling a man he is worthless, or the fact he isn’t as good at DIY as Mick is down the road, is basically saying Mick is a better man around the house than he is. It says that Jill respects Mick more than Jack, or at least that is how a man will understand it to be.
People often say things like “why did that little thing annoy him so much”. The reality is, when a man feels disrespected, it will nearly always get a response. A little thing like somebody cutting him off in traffic could get a full blown flare up due to the fact the man feels he was disrespected on the road. It is different for all men about what levels of disrespect makes them angry. But one thing is for sure, every man desires to be respected.
When a woman allows the man to be the man, this makes a guy feel loved and respected. The response to the girl will always be positive. Men can become Casanova overnight when you show them the respect they crave. It doesn’t mean they are better than the woman in the house or anything like that, it just means you allow the man to be the man. Respect him as the father to your children and the husband to you.
Tough being a man
It an be difficult to be the husband, the lover, the provider, and all the other things a man in a relationship should be. It can also be tough being a wife and a mother, but thats not my focus for this post. Us men sometimes just need a little encouragement, a hug, or a few simple words of affirmation and that will make our day. We aren’t the best at communicating our feelings, but we do have them. You may have to ask a few times, but eventually we’ll get there. I suppose there is truth to the saying “behind every good man is a great woman”, so to all the wives out there, us men do our best, but we do need your support.
I will also say how good it is to know your love language so below is a test that can show you other areas of importance to you both as a couple. Hope this is a help and if you have any thoughts you’d like to share, please comment below or click here for my FREE NEWSLETTER.