How does it start?
Understanding pornography and why its infectious in nature to so many people is were we begin on this road of dealing with it. Pornography more often than not starts with curiosity. Wanting to explore and find out “what does this mean” and “what does that look like”. When it becomes apparent that this curiosity is exciting, the continuum begins. Going back for more and more. But this is only the start of it, as it creeps in and takes over a part of our mind, and if not stopped, it will take over parts of our lives.
Who does it effect?
Over the years myself and my wife have helped numerous guys and girls whose lives have been effected by pornography and its effects. As pastors I can say it is one of the most common issues that face people today. Guys and girls,young and old, single and married. Porn has potential to effect anybody if you don’t guard yourself. People will jump to the conclusion that its the teenage boy that is the partaker of this pastime, yet this is not the case. Anybody can be exposed to it and even addicted to it. So before I go any further I need YOU to be real and not naive. If you cannot stop looking at it then you need to admit that maybe you are addicted. Maybe you’re a parent and you say those words “my kids would never…”. I’m not saying they are, but none the less you should protect their access as best as possible. The reality is porn is everywhere and we need to be on our guard to protect ourselves and those we are responsible for.
Its only curiosity!
It is so easy to access it today. In fact 80% of the internet content is of a pornographic nature. It’s easier for a teen to access porn than to buy cigarettes or alcohol, but for an adult it is even easier. To deal with porn and its effects we must understand how it starts. I do however want to share a true story of how it can develop to extremes. Its not to scare you, but it’s for you to know that it doesn’t lead to anything positive in life if left unchallenged, but instead, it can damage your soul,your relationships, and your future. This story is to show you that porn is a very self destructive seed that can grow without anybody even detecting it. So when you finish Part One of this PORN post, do continue on to Part two. Be real with yourself and be prepared to change what needs changing.
Porn mag to murder.
A notorious rapist and serial killer Ted Bundy was interviewed by a Christian psychologist Dr.Dobson as he waited for the end of his death sentence. Here is what he said about pornography.
Bundy said he began casually reading soft-core pornography when he was 12 or 13 years old. His friends found pornographic books in the garbage cans in his neighborhood: “From time to time we would come across pornographic books of a harder nature … a more graphic, explicit nature than we would encounter at the local grocery store,” he told Dr. Dobson in the taped interview. “But slowly throughout the years reading pornography began to become a deadly habit.
“My experience with pornography … is once you become addicted to it, (and I look at this as a kind of addiction like other kinds of addiction), I would keep looking for more potent, more explicit, more graphic kinds of material. Like an addiction, you keep craving something that is harder, something which gives you a greater sense of excitement. Until you reach a point where the pornography only goes so far, you reach that jumping off point where you begin to wonder if maybe actually doing it would give you that which is beyond just reading or looking at it.”
Within a few years, those latent desires fueled by pornography were expressed through his first murder. Although Bundy said he did not blame pornography, he explained that pornographic materials shaped and molded his behavior. He also warned the nation that “the most damaging kinds of pornography … are those that involve violence and sexual violence. Because the wedding of those two forces, as I know only too well, brings out the hatred that is just, just too terrible to describe.”
Bundy said that pornography “snatched me out of my home 20, 30 years ago … and pornography can reach out and snatch a kid out of any house today.” His religious training and morality initially restrained him from acting out his fantasies, but he confessed that finally, “I couldn’t hold back anymore.”
Alcohol supposedly broke the restraints for him to commit his first murder. “What alcohol did in conjunction with exposure to pornography is alcohol reduced my inhibitions, at the same time the fantasy life that was fueled by pornography eroded them further.”
While committing the murders, Bundy said he felt as if he was possessed by “something … awful and alien. There is just absolutely no way to describe first the brutal urge to do that kind of thing, and then what happens is once it has been more or less satisfied and recedes, you might say, or spent, that energy level recedes and basically I become myself again.”
“But basically I was a normal person. I wasn’t some guy hanging out at bars or a bum. I wasn’t a pervert in the sense that people look at somebody and say, ‘I know there is something wrong with him, you can just tell.’ I was essentially a normal person,” Bundy told Dobson. “The basic humanity and the basic spirit that God gave me was intact, but unfortunately became overwhelmed at times.”
Ted Bundy acknowledged that he deserved the death penalty, even though there were anti-death penalty demonstrators outside his prison cell up until the moment of his execution. “I deserve the most extreme punishment society has,” he said. “But I don’t want to die, I kid you not.”
Dobson said that Bundy wept several times during the interview: “He expressed great regret, remorse for what he had done, for the families that were hurting.” He spent his last night in prayer with a minister from Gainesville, Florida.
Bundy’s last words of confession and warning about pornography are an echo of statistics, research, and reports conducted within the last decade about the link between pornography and sexually violent crime. Unfortunately, many of the warnings in those reports still have not been heeded, and pornography has been taken for granted or considered a necessary evil. I’m not suggesting that because you looked at porn that now you might become like Ted Bundy, what I wanted you to see is how it starts so subtly. It will grow into an addiction at a very fast pace. It never leads to anything positive yet people find it a struggle to stop.
The problem with porn is people like it.
I’ll explain more in the next posts. There is one thing that is true, curiosity needs to be controlled.