Porn Part 2

10 ways to break the porn addiction. Stopping the addiction to porn and lusful desires is not an easy accomplishment, but it is possible for you to do. The question is how bad do you want to stop?

In Dealing With Pornography Part 1 I discussed the background of the why and how it can be addictive, but in this blog I’m cutting to the chase on how to break it off your life.

1: Have you got what it takes?
The key is going to be your determination and discipline. Have you got the self control that it takes? Have you got that “I can do it” attitude, no matter what the cost. Many people can read this blog, make a decision to change and wind up in the same situation in only a matter of days or even hours. To break any addiction it has to be in your heart to want to change. It needs to be in your will to want to stop it. Your mind needs to be made up that this ugly habit needs to go. Then, and only then, will you be in the zone to start making progress. The reality is you have what it takes to do it, but it wont happen till you really want it gone, till you get to the point that no matter what, porn has to go. In short, get your heart in position and the rest will follow in time. It time you admitted you have a problem that needs dealing with.

2: Call in the support
In light of the first point, if you are relying on only yourself, then this is not necessarily good enough. If you can do it on your own great, but if you have failed time and time again, then you need support. The reason is “You” can fail, and its “You” who got yourself into this mess in the first place. Its you who let yourself make porn and lusting a habit in your life. Its your reasoning that allows it to creep into your thoughts, so obviously there needs to be change and you may not know what to change on your own. You need to get an accountability partner. Not somebody of the opposite sex unless they’re your spouse, but somebody you trust, somebody that you can speak openly to. Somebody that will give the right mature advice. A pastor,therapist,friend, but somebody that has an understanding of this area. A person that has a relationship with God is important and I’ll explain why later. But don’t let fear or shame stop you getting help and advice. Porn is referred to as the secret sin, but it is still wrong, and its bringing you down a road you don’t want to go.

3: GOD?!?!?!
Many people forget to ask God for help. They either don’t believe or they are ashamed to pray about it. They are so ashamed they will skirt around it when they pray and never mention their porn issue. They even find it hard to mention the word porn in their prayers. I’ve mentioned before in other blogs how faith in God is normally the deal breaker of getting over problems in life. You can try without Him or with Him. When we know God is there for us even when we get it wrong at times, it gives us a thing called hope. But its even more than that, He gives us the power to get over these life issues. As the scripture says in the Bible over at Philippians(NLT) 4:13 For I can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need.

4: The craving
The craving, the desire to click can feel so strong that your heart beats faster, your thoughts get excited, and you find yourself yet again clicking that image you didn’t want to click. One person I helped with this addiction said how they could not stop themselves clicking on porn even though a part of them didn’t want to. This craving is sure sign you may be addicted. It happens because you have found that viewing porn makes you feel good even though you consider it wrong. It makes you feel so good that chemicals are released and a natural high is induced. It may sound extreme but this is how many people(especially males) are so addicted to porn. That is why its so hard to stop. But here is something you probably didn’t know. Every craving, regardless of what its for, doesn’t last forever. A craving will rise and rise and then it will fall back down. It is like a curve or spike. The reason I state this is because many feel that when they get this craving, it won’t subside until they fall to its claws. The fact is a craving will pass naturally, so if you can refuse this trap and divert at its outset, the craving will naturally subside.

5: Know your triggers.
The first 3 tips gives you the foundation to deal with the issue of porn so you got to establish these to go anywhere. Now we’ll look at how to deal with the triggers. Certain advertisements, environments and even people can trigger off your urge to use. Negative feelings and events can also make it hard to resist your porn habit. Write down a list of triggers, when you know you’re most at risk of relapsing, and plan what to do instead. Assess what you can eliminate from your everyday life that has a pornographic tie to it. Maybe you have a poster, or computer wallpaper that may trigger your thinking into a lustful direction. These things, if possible, need to be removed. Maybe there are others you hang out with that encourage the conversation of pornography, and if this is the case you need to either address it with them or maneuver the conversation away from such things when it comes up. What ever causes you to think,talk, or view porn needs to be cut out and avoided as best as possible, otherwise this may hamper your progress. But there are no doubt somethings you cannot remove, like a billboard, or and advert on screen, but we’ll deal with these in the next point. You may not be able to get rid of your laptop but you can decide when to use it and when risk of falling is higher, so therefore avoid using it at these times.

6: Naked people
Ok so chances are you may not see a naked person show up in your workplace, but they may appear in an email, a newspaper, film, music video, or even an advert. Maybe they are not naked, but simply dressed provocatively or sexually posed. What to do when it appears in front of you. Well the thing to do is look away,delete,fast forward. The reason is you will see and hear things in life that you simply cannot control. They may even be tempting but you need to go back to your will power and say to yourself “this is not for me”. Avoidance is not always possible but you can look away. Some people call it bouncing your eyes off.

7: Think something else
The result of an image or conversation to do with porn is inevitably the thoughts you think from there. To many people who struggle with a lustful mind, they are by default thinking sex alot of the time. This will take some persistence and diligence to change this gear to another train of thought. I heard a quote one time like this “where the mind goes,the man follows”. The moral of the slogan is be careful where you go in your thoughts. Some retraining and renewing is needed. Get reading, get exercising, pursue the healthy passions in your life. you cant stop a thought but you can change it. Check out How to stop Stinking Thinking part 2 for more on this.

8: Do something else
One of the best ways to get through a period of craving is to take your mind off it. Although easier said than done, you can do it. We may not be able to change a thought at the initial stages but you can do something else if the desire arises. We all have smart phones these days so why not have a game to play on your phone if desires mount up, make a phone call, do a crossword puzzle, wash the dog, go for a run – do something even if your still thinking unwanted stuff.

9: Be grateful.
Since most people engage in an addiction to help forget stresses and dissatisfactions in life. It can be an escape. However gratitude for what you have got can be a great relapse deterrent. Focus on the positive stuff in your life and think about how you can capitalise on it. Think about what is valuable in your life. Is porn more valuable than anything else? So why risk what is valuable for what is worthless. Get out that pen and paper and make a list of at least 50 things you’ve got to be grateful for, however small they may be. Review this list if and when you find yourself sinking into self-pity and hopelessness. Let these things be a motivation for being porn free.

10: The moral compass
In day to day life it can be hard to find what is morally ok and what is not. We all know the basics but sometimes we see everybody else at it so we reason it must be ok. It can be difficult to have a moral compass if you are surrounded by people with the same problem as yourself. For example its harder to give up smoking when you work and socialize with smokers. For in their eyes smoking is alright. The same is so for porn. That is when we may need a moral compass, a guide to rights and wrongs. That is where the Bible comes in. Scriptures that are 100% tried and tested. When we need a motto or mantra, the Bible is the ultimate resource. Check out the new testament on matters such as porn, get books that explain the Bible regarding your particular struggle. Let the Bible show you the way when you get a bit lost. As a man or woman its ok to find the opposite sex attractive, but its not ok to lust after them. There is a line in the sand, and when you get married that line becomes a circle around both of you. Whatever you value more is what you will gravitate toward.

Leave a comment, subscribe to the newsletter or send me an email, but whatever you do please do share this blog with as many people as you can, for porn is spreading quicker. God bless and know that you can do it. If you need any further help or resources let me know and I’ll get it to you.

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