For many people the shortage of potential partners is a travesty. This results in us being creative in ways we can meet that special somebody. But as my talkshow recently discovered, the jury is divided on whether online dating is ok for a Christian to do. So I asked Annmarie (whom used online dating and met her husband through it) what she thought, and here is her opinion that she wrote me…
Does online-dating mean I don’t trust God? Guest post by Annmarie Miles
There are so many things about this Christian life that are unclear.
The Bible gives us a mandate on how we should live, but in many cases it leaves out the specifics.
When it comes to the powerful stuff, such as sex and money, we get a real sense of how these things that have been made for our good and our pleasure can be twisted: and when misused can lead to our mental, physical and spiritual ruin.
But not all of life’s choices and ‘specifics’ are made that clear. We are encouraged to use discernment (Eph 1:17), to seek the counsel of others (Prov 19:20-21), to find the will and wisdom of God (James 1:5) by seeking him in prayer (Phil 4:6) and in His Word (2 Tim 3:16). I believe God has a plan for my life and that I should walk the path He wants me to walk, but I also believe it is a path of free will.
When we discussed this issue on Spirit Radio last Wednesday night, as part of Mark’s show, I was surprised at how many folk were against online dating for Christians. I do believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and it was brilliant to get such a great and varied response to the subject.
Some expressed concerns about safety within the online dating system, others about the honesty of a person that could actually be anyone, anywhere. I totally get that and as I said on the show – we have to apply all the safety precautions that we would apply to any of our dealings online, be it social media or purchasing goods etc.
The online dating site I used was great. There was a very long and detailed sign up process – I’m sure any ‘messers’ would have been too bored to go through it all. Their statement of faith was very clear. The site’s security was strong and you could have proper, private conversations with folk without having to share any personal contact details. It could all be done within the site. So safety wise, I felt very happy.
However, other folk who contacted the show thought that online dating is a lack of trust in God to find yourself a spouse – now that’s a different matter!
All I can share with you is my own experience and I will start by confessing that I was impatient to be married. Lots of my friends were getting married and even some of my older nieces and nephews were in potentially long term relationships. I wasn’t very ‘content’ as a single person and I suppose that in itself is a lack of trust in God in some way.
But I genuinely believe that God used the internet to bring me and my husband together. It was just a tool; a mechanism to put us both in the same room – albeit virtually.
Did I trust God? Absolutely!
Did I try to rush Him? Absolutely!
But He can’t be rushed and He made me wait until it was His time, not mine.
Did I sin by going looking for a husband, rather than waiting for one? Well I don’t think so. Someone contacted the show and used the idea of job hunting, and how actively seeking employment is not considered lack of trust in God to find you a job. I thought that was a great point and I totally agree with it.
As long as we continue to seek God for his will, pray for his guidance, and hold everything He has given us with an open hand, I believe we can confidently move forward in His grace; making each decision as best we can.
AnnMarie Miles has hr own blog at www.auntyamo.com Comment below with your thoughts 😉