How important are looks?

Valentines Day is almost upon us. If we are in a relationship, it will be an excuse to go on a date. But a question that I have been asked on the show plenty of times is “How important are looks?”. Here are a few thoughts on that very question.mark fennell lifecoach dublin

When we say “looks” I obviously mean appearance. The pressures of the media from magazines to films on how a guy or girl should appear is quite an unrealistic image indeed. For example here is a video of generally what happens after a photoshoot, showing how what we see in print and on screens has generally been altered in some shape or form to represent what is “deemed” as beauty:

Its clear that in multimedia today, image is everything.
– How important are looks?
– How important is your appearance when it comes to attracting a partner?
– Should we all be engaging in Botox injections, breast enlarging, tummy tucking, muscle    enhancement treatments in order to keep being beautiful?

Lets talk about attraction.
Your appearance does play an important role when trying to attract a partner. How important is different for most people. Some people are all about image and others less so. I always recommend having a healthy balance. Look well, smell well, be clean, and do put a little thought into your dress sense. But I said “balance”.

For the girls: Don’t obsess over your appearance. Make some effort, but only to the degree of what is comfortable. Most guys don’t know or even care if your bag is Gucci or Prada, so unless you personally like the designer bag, its not going to make much difference to your potential partner.

For the guys: Do make an effort. girls notice more about a mans dress sense than you think. Leave the football jersey at home, and why not buy a pair of nice shoes. If you are stuck, bring a girl shopping with you for her opinion. Smart casual is usually a safe bet.

“Enjoy the skin your in”

My Theory: Although looks are to some degree important at the outset of a relationship, ultimately its your personality and smile that makes you attractive. My personal theory is “looks” may get you noticed, but personality makes you attractive. This is the case at the initial stages. But many times its nothing to do with looks, in fact, it could be 100% your personality that may create that connection.

After time has passed and you are married, are looks important at all?
Yes they are. I’m not saying you need to be dressed up for every meal time, but a little effort is still important. Especially on a date night. Although looking after the kids all day can be a tough job, its important you get time to look after yourself. Not just for your partners sake, but for your sake. You deserve to treat yourself to a new top or get your hair done every now and then. So whether you are a stay at home mum or dad, its imperative you don’t loose yourself. By this I mean, its good to look after your appearance for YOU! Of course your partner will be delighted that you do, but really its for your identity, and your self confidence. It’s a knock on effect, if you feel beautiful, it will send off messages of confidence.

Date Nights:
A great excuse to get all dressed up is a date night. Get dressed up, you and your partner head out for a night of fun. Dress sexy, look smart, and forget about all the weeks worries for the night. Make a date night every week and stick to it. Don’t just watch TV on the couch for your date night, get up, get dressed, make and effort, and the two of you head out somewhere nice so you can chat and laugh. It’s a proven fact that date nights will keep a relationship healthy. Treat it like the first time you went out on a date.

Old age:
You are going to get older and physically things may move. Your weight might go up a little, but you are going to age. Yes your lifestyle and eating habits will help, but you will change. If you are all about looks then you will find it difficult to have a successful relationship, because everybody ages and changes. There are people who are focused on the appearance of their partner rather than their personality, but thats just shallow and destined to lead to unhappiness. True love is much deeper than skin and flesh, in fact its an issue of the heart. Growing old gracefully and having somebody who loves you for you, now that is the real prize. As I always say, my wife is like a fine wine, she gets better with age, and to me she is the most beautiful woman on earth, regardless of how she looks.

If relationships were all about looks, and looks were the most important thing, then only good looking models would be married, and as we all know, all shapes and sizes can get hitched. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder as they say. A smile is sometimes the most attractive thing a person could wear, so the bottom line is…be yourself, enjoy life, and you’ll eventually find somebody who will love you for you.

Happy blessed Valentines Day, to those that have found somebody, and to those who will soon. Please comment below and subscribe to my newsletter for more CLICK HERE. If you are single this Valentines Day check this post out.
Stay blessed.

One thought on “How important are looks?

  1. Hi Mark,
    Really enjoyed the blog, great nuggets and full of wisdom. Keep them coming I am always blessed by your articles.
    By the way I enjoy listening to you every morning presenting the breakfast show on Spirit Radio.

    Stay Blessed !!

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