HOCD or in its full name Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I must admit its not every day you hear about this one. Every now and then I get asked about something that I may not have heard of before. I regularly get requests to write some thoughts down for a specific issue that a listener may be having. But what I find these days is that we have all these new terms for things that have been issues for people for centuries. My point is the name may be new but the issue isn’t. Lets have a chat about HOCD.
As I discussed before OCD can come in many forms. Or to put it plainly, we can get caught obsessing about things and then may find it hard to quit. For more on this check out “How to stop OCD”. But lets discuss HOCD which is more common among people then you think.
What is HOCD
HOCD is a form of obsessive compulsive disorder that revolves around your sexuality. A fear that you might be gay when you would have always thought you where straight. It is a fear that one might become or already is homosexual. This notion goes against all rational and actuality of you being heterosexual. It induces major anxiety and causes the merry go round of intrusive thoughts.
HOCD is a fear that one might lose control and engage in homosexual behavior. The anxiety can be overwhelming due to the intrusive thoughts of being sexual and passionate with another member of the same sex. It is a fear and nothing more than that. As I like to say FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real.
Whats the difference with HOCD and a closet Gay?
The main fear a closet gay has is the fear of social repercussions. A HOCD sufferer will fear the attraction to the same sex while a homosexual doesn’t fear this at all. A homosexual person will feel positive feelings toward the same sex but a HOCD sufferer has major negative feelings due to the fact it goes against their values, beliefs, and moral code. A sufferer with HOCD will only find sexual fulfillment from a heterosexual relationship and not a same sex relationship. HOCD can cause feelings and thoughts that just don’t fit with themselves. Thoughts of confusion, frustration, and even pain can all occur if not dealt with properly.
How to overcome HOCD
Identifying the simple fact that if you wanted to be gay you would like it and not repel it. The fact that there is anxiety attached to such thoughts of homosexuality will stand to reason that you are not agreeing with the intrusive thoughts. Have you ever fancied a member of the opposite sex? Did you get anxious about it or did you get excited and happy? Or to put it simply, did you get the reaction you are having with the HOCD thought patterns. I’m sure you’ll agree that you welcomed the thoughts of the attraction to the opposite sex. People with HOCD are generally very heterosexual. To get over HOCD, it will help to realize it is a fear and just because you thought the thought doesn’t mean its fact. Have a read of my article Wrong Thoughts Part 1 & 2. If your struggle is lasting some time you may need to talk to somebody. I do stress that if you need professional advice or counseling you should contact one and a Christian one would always be a help.
One listener wrote…
Here is what a listener wrote ” I eventually learned that even though I could find little shreds of what some might say is gay. Things like I was fussy with my hair and stuff. My therapist old me these where all just circumstantial evidence. The fact is if I was gay i wouldn’t be anxious about it.”
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This site and all its posts are simply observations and experience, and are not professional advice for you. If you are effected by any of the issues we discuss you must contact your doctor for further advice if you so require it.