How to learn to forget the hurts, pain, and even abuse from our past. I heard a statement said that sometimes its the people closest to us that hurt us the most. Its only when we allow somebody into to our heart that they then have the potential to break it.
Friendships, relationships, and family may let us down, but what to do when they hurt you? So lets have a chat about it in this blog post.
The types of hurt:
Sadly I can relate to this one, and the truth be told, I’d say nearly all of us have been betrayed or hurt by someone we once called a friend. When you have a friendship that is strong and trusting its a great thing. I had a friend I could trust, have a laugh with, hang out, and I considered him a BFF (Best Friend Forever). My wife liked him, my family liked him, and to be honest, I had no idea of who he really was. I never suspected that the friendship was based off of “what I was” rather than “who I was”. A strategic friendship for his benefit, thats all it was. Our friendship was never really tested, but when it was, thats when it slowly died and dwindled. He stopped hanging out bit by bit. I suspected something was wrong but couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I even asked him was everything ok, and I got a dishonest “yes I’m fine”. He had become a part of the game of politics in the place we worked, and decided in order to move up, he would have to be seen to dislike me to win favor. It was about that time a five year friendship came to an end. It was the day he broke my trust that I knew it was over. Some might say “he sold me out”.
I could’ve retaliated, the temptation to take vengeance was presented to me on a plate when information that could’ve changed everything came my way. But I decided to forgive and move on from it. Sadly there are people who will be your friend when everything is going good and they are benefiting, but a true friend is there through thick and thin. It comes down to the person valuing your friendship over money, popularity, or position. It happens in schools, jobs, and any place you find people. Sadly some people are motivated more by money than by friendship.
We all have a few human beings that are called our family. We don’t get to choose them, but instead they are family whether we like it or not. They know all our positives and negatives, they have watched you succeed and fail as you grow up.
But the word family is connected with another word which is “familiar”. This can be a huge cause of problems in a family. The reason is they may not respect you as much as you might like, they may not take you serious, they may not even be there for you when you need them. But most of all, they can hurt you the most. Even Jesus said how a prophet isn’t welcome in his own home, for the reason of “familiarity”. For the same token a family can be the greatest support system for a human, but there will be trials and tests that will result in tension and strife. I’ve met family members whom have not spoke in years based on a fall out years earlier.
There is no quick fix, and its impossible to have a perfect family. But in part 2 we’ll see what you can do to get over the hurt.
This is the type of hurt that can have the most heart break. That person you fell in love with. The one you couldn’t bare to be without. As some might say, they are “the one”.
But then one day something happens and it comes crashing down. You may not know why, or maybe you do, but its irrelevant, for you are left with a broken heart. Sometimes its a slow distancing and other times its out of the blue. Hearing stories of wives discovering their husband is playing away from home is heartbreaking. It hurts the entire family. Discovering you are no longer loved is heartbreaking, but to discover they have gone off with somebody else is a double blow. Can you get over this level of hurt? I believe whole heartedly that you can.
Enough talking about the types of hurt and check out PART 2 of this blog to find out where to start.